Lost in Hate

I hate feeling like this. I hate it. The way it takes me by surprise, the way it settles within me as if it were a perfect fit.
I hate this feeling, the feeling that makes me see everything in dark light, that turns day dark and my nights endless.
I hate it... i hate it.... i hate it....
But i dont know what it is. What is this feeling, that is reaping me apart, that has owned my thoughts and hidden my smile. That makes me find joy only in the thoughts of the damned.
It feels alive within me, taking control of all my senses and my very being.
Leaving me at the edge of a cliff, waiting for me to fall to the edge of another cliff.
It wants to keep me alive questioning everything i love and believe in
It wants to test me, just to see me fail.
It wants to break me, just so it can rebuild me, and do it again.
What is this feeling...
What are you...
Why will you do this...
Why do you hurt me...
Why do i look at you and see me...

MES CITATIONS

THE SWITCH

She would look at me with love in her eyes,

 her messages were the first i saw when i picked up my phone.

Every time she called, you could here the excitement in her voice.

 She loved me and i her.

We were going to last forever,

as long as the sun was in the sky during the day

and the moon during the night,

 she was going to be mine forever

Or that's what i thought......

Until the dark clouds engulfed the sky and made invisible the sun and the moon.

 It brought with it rain that made my tears unseen to her.

Now she looks at me,

lost feelings in her eyes,

 her messages are never on my phone.

 Every time she calls,

 you can only hear the sound of obligation in her voice.

Now i leave not by day or night,

I take notice only of withered leaves that lay dead on the earth.

 I could never have predicted this,

 cause my heart wont let me see a future where she wasn't in it

ARCHITECTS OF GREATNESS

I lay on my bed doing nothing, watching time pass.

The seconds adding up to minutes,

minutes to hours.

I was enclosed in my own head,

wondering as usually the answers that had become questions of life. Why things happen the way they do,

why people act the way they do,

why life was designed this way.

There is a saying that goes *we are the architect of our own lives*, to take it further we chose our own designs, but how much of that is true.

There are obviously things that are out of our control,

 those situations that limit the options we have,

doesn't that show, that we are being pushed to a certain direction, like a leaf blown by the wind.

If we were truely architects,

wont words like fate and destiny be nullified.

I'm a big believer of the importance of the singularity of a being.

The greatest knowledge a person can aquire is

 self knowledge.

The more you know yourself, the easier it is to carve your future,

 to build your work,

 to rise or descend, depending on your choosing.

But to attain such knowledge, one must put aside a lot of things,

 most which will leave you at the mercy of the world and reduce you to nothing

 but a seedling with dreams of becoming an oak tree.

But you can do it. 
I believe you need to

 *KNOW YOURSELF TO KNOW THE WORLD*.

It starts with you before anything else.

We might all live on the same planet but we come from different worlds.

We all see things differently and have different opinions on things,

 but thats not necessarily a bad thing.

 We are architects,

but also someones design,

 we know what we expect of our designs,

 so we should also know what is expected of us and i can assure you,

 its nothing less of greatness

The Purest of Beginnings

The world is dark the world is flesh.

 Easily tainted and poisoned, just like man.

 Not really surprising... as it is said,

 man was created from the earth,

it only makes sense they have similar destinies. 
But we forget, that everything started pure...good, like in the bible

*God created the earth in 7 days and he looked down upon it and saw it was GOOD*.

The purest form of everything is at its origin..

its beginning...

its creation,

but we taint it.

From the beginning of time, man has been known to take the purest things

 and completely engulf it in darkness...

completely destroy it.

Man is darkness...

man is earth..

 destruction,

but yet man is also good, man is unique...

because as they are known for destruction, they are known for creation.

God's masterpiece.

TRICKSTER

Its time to play tricks with the trickster
All those times I was out cause I miss her
I got the trick not the treat and it isn't October
I think I'm getting played, but how do I get past her.
I don't care, just want the truth, no matter how bitter
But she let me go and fell for the trickster.

Hello, we haven't met, but if you harm her
I'll show you I know more tricks than even you the trickster.
Bitter sweet you should adore her
Cause she's dear to me and you are lucky to have her.